The Power of No by SGA Senator Tori Mclary

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others,” powerful words by the articulate Brene Brown

Setting boundaries isn’t about being mean, it’s just choosing self-love over people-pleasing. Sometimes, we wish to say yes when requested things, even if we don’t have the mental or physical energy to complete the tasks. This often leads to burnout.

Saying no, or what can be referred to as “empowered refusal” (The Power of No, 2016), can avoid burnout. The power of saying “no” sets boundaries, prioritizes mental health, and improves self-care.

While boundaries are often misunderstood, they aren’t about making things harder. Human behavior specialist expert Henry Ammar, who is also an award-winning empowerment coach, says they’re about creating healthy limits.

What are personal boundaries? A short definition from Therapist Aid is, “Personal boundaries are the limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships” (Therapist Aid, 2016). Setting boundaries isn’t drama. It’s knowing one’s worth and sticking to it.

Students often treat boundaries like the terms and conditions pop-up. The pop-up often is

skipped, without reading. Some reasons why students struggle include: The fear of missing out (FOMO); peer pressure or guilt trips; and, wanting to be characterized as an “easygoing” individual.

Without boundaries, burnout isn’t a risk, it’s inevitable. Some “no” phrases like “I’ll check my calendar” or “I can’t commit, but appreciate the ask”, keep your sanity, and protect your energy without severing connections. Setting boundaries isn’t rude, it’s being real.

Similarly, without setting clear boundaries, mental health starts to decline. The damage from endless yeses hits hardest where students can least afford it: their mental well-being. A “no” saves energy, but every “yes” comes with a hidden receipt.

In more direct terms, saying no protects your limited resources; every yes demands payment of stress, time, or compromise. As students, we balance jobs, relationships, and academics. Added commitments don’t just stretch time but risk a crash out.

Research shows guarding your mental health may also contribute to academic success. It has the benefits of better focus, retaining information longer, and staying motivated. Every “no” protects your mental health. Choose your peace, and the rest will follow.

Additionally, with boundaries and guarding your mental health, the focus shifts to self-care. Prioritizing self-care requires courage in a society that misinterprets self-neglect for dedication.

Self-care may portray a stigma of “selfishness,” but it should be characterized as honoring your needs. It is a strategy for sustainability versus burnout, especially for students who have a lot on their plate. The power of saying “no” to non-essential demands creates space for practicing self-care.

This space honors the need for rest, and hobbies, and provides better energy for priorities such as academics. Self-care is the difference between burning out and showing up. Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s survival. Saying “no” clears the way for your priorities.

“Some obstacles we just can’t cut, when do you use your shield to protect you?” is, an inspiring quote by Kenny Nguyen. Every “no” reinforces your boundaries, protects your mental health, and improves self-care.

So, the next time you hesitate to say no, remember it’s not rejection but rather redirection towards a healthier, more balanced life without burnout. I challenge you, the reader, to have the courage to prioritize yourself, even at the risk of disappointing others.

References

Aid, T. (Ed.). (2016, June). What are personal boundaries?. Berkely.edu. https://uhs.berkeley.edu/sites/default/files/relationships_personal_boundaries.pdf

Nguyen, K. (2013, May 2). The Art of Saying No. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtPRrn5nwAo

The power of no: How boundaries help us live more empowered lives (2022, December 6). Stanford Graduate School of Business. https://www.gsb.stanford.edu/insights/power-no-how-boundaries-help-us-live-more-empowered-lives